Beans, beans the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
But not really because you are only meeting a base physiological need and this could never fill the deep, existential dread buried deep within you.
Legumes may be near the top of the food pyramid, but they are at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Even still, the fleeting comfort of a full belly is enough to distract from the resounding emptiness of every other facet of life.
So let’s have beans for every meal!