If you are reading this then I must convey my reaction in the wise, immortal words of Owen Wilson, “Wow.” This blog is called No Onions, Please. If you came in search of a forum for picky eaters or are unfamiliar with how ordering food online works I feel obligated to say this likely is not the site you are looking for. In all honesty, this likely isn’t the site for anyone as it is in its essence a blog about nothing. Again, if you are in search of a blog about Seinfeld or are an avid something enthusiast I must warn you that this likely is not the site you are looking for.

Since there is a critical shortage of commentary on everyday life and observational comedy on the internet I took it upon myself to chime in with my aggressively average, unqualified takes on life. No mundane topic is off limits. Unoriginal monologues about working in an office, uninspired reviews of movies that came out thirty years ago, unhealthy doses of self-deprecation and more await you until I inevitably quit trying.

Remember kids, you can’t fail if you never have any goals, dreams, or aspirations. Happy New Year!


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